Bizarre - Josh Benson

Bizarre

May1

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Dude, where’s my car?

Posted in: Bizarre, TV News

Chances are you’ve seen these two car attendants on their little joyride in the 1986 comedy film Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Ferris drops off a Ferrari (owned by his buddy’s dad) to parking attendants to continue his ‘day off’ with friends, later to find out many miles were added to the odometer when they got the car back. Panic ensues. It’s a hell of a movie.

It was a scene created for a movie. What’s crazy, is that it just happened in Central Florida. WFTV-TV Reporter Jeff Deal got a tip that a Port Canaveral parking lot owner did just that – took a little joyride with the $60,000 2012 cherry-red Corvette WFTV rented for the investigation.

Jeff Deal questions Jose 'Jay' Nieves, owner of Premier Parking Spot in Port Canaveral

From smoking cigarettes in the car, peeling out, hauling lumber and letting a little dog frolic on the upholstery – the video is pretty amazing.

Who says you only see this stuff in the movies? Great job, Jeff.

Careful where you park next time.

You can catch the first of the two-part series here. More on part two here and how the parking lot owner appeared to have broken laws and even abandoned his business.
Jun30

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The bird takes flight

Posted in: Bizarre, Funny, TV News

Have you ever been to a sporting event and noticed you happened to land a spot in line with the television cameras? It’s the kind of seat you either had some really good contacts in order to swing the tickets, or you just happened to be in the limelight by chance. You know you called your friends to tell them ‘watch for me, I’ll be on’.

I have to believe that was going through the head of 28-year-old Matthew Bartlett of Orlando when he happened to score seats to the gallery of the Casey Anthony Murder Trial. And he had a great seat – right in line with the lectern where the attorneys direct questions to the witnesses.

But instead of the obnoxious ‘I’m on TV!!!’ wave, the traditional bicep curl or even the ugliest facial expression one can think up, Bartlett went for the gold. He let his bird take flight. Sneakily, might I add. The ‘rub your face, slide down the nose and FLIP THAT BABY’ move.

His sentence? Six days in jail and a $400 fine and $200+ in court costs. His job at T.G.I. Fridays may not be in jeopardy because his manager told us he’s a ‘passionate man’, and didn’t seem like she was too upset. Besides, the restaurant just got some serious publicity. Bravo. Sesame Jack Chicken Strips for everyone!

In the end, I’m wondering if he thinks it was worth it. There’s already a Facebook page in his honor. And his name will be added to the annals of history. Granted, for a bonehead move – but added, for that matter.

And if it was for attention, he got it. Look at me, this blog entry took 15 minutes of my life that I won’t get back. Thanks, Mr. Bartlett.
Jun13

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Chipotle: Fail

Posted in: Bizarre, Life

I hit up Chipotle for dinner tonight. The place was busy. So I waited, excited to dump half a bottle of the green Tobasco sauce on my perfectly-wrapped burrito. I placed my order and noticed the lady threw the tortilla in the press to heat it up. When she pulled it out, I noticed the tear. A tiny tear in the corner. Disaster was near.

It was onto the next guy in line who slapped in the chicken, mild and hot sauce, black beans. Next guy confidently drizzled sour cream on the contents and tossed in the cheese. But then he looked distraught. He was adjusting the burrito in all directions in an attempt to roll it, but couldn’t figure it out. Because he saw what I saw. The tear. He knew it could be disasterous with the amount of goodness he was about to lock into the silver bullet. It was already too full. How could he do it? Would he do it? Well, he did. After very clever trickery, and a some sleight of hand – he quickly folded, spun, wrapped and tightened the burrito. He no longer held the responsibility. The responsibility rested with me.

I grabbed the Tobasco and took my seat. Carefully, I unwrapped the burrito. First bite, second bite thir….Bam. Destroyed. It was irreversible. The tear grew, the contents shifted. Fell. It was too late. I was the guy who had to grab the FORK to finish it off. It kinda irked me, because I was looking forward to enjoying and not working to fill the void in my stomach.

I guess you won’t understand why I’m blogging about this until it happens to you. It’s just disappointing. That is unless you like the BOWLS…then, well, you wouldn’t understand this at all.

Just beware of the tear. I’m telling you, disappointment awaits.
May12

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Dinosaurs in Central Florida

Posted in: Bizarre, TV News

Alligator's snack at Kennedy Space Center

I have enjoyed living in different parts of the country. From the Midwest to the Southwest and now to the Southeast, I’ve learned a lot about the lay of the land and what LIVES on that land. I’m talking about creepy, regional creatures. In Minnesota, there wasn’t really a threat from one, main creature. I guess a black bear would come to mind, but I bet I’ve seen one in 25 years. So my vote would go to mosquitoes.

In Tucson, Arizona there were a few. Scorpions freaked me out. My first day in my apartment, I squished one into the carpet of my apartment (I was wearing socks). Thank God. No sting. I would go on to see about a dozen more. As for snakes, they were the king killers. Rattlers. But in my five years in Tucson, I saw ONE rattlesnake. So it wasn’t much of a worry in the long run.

Now that I live in Florida, alligators are the threat. I have yet to see one, but we constantly report on alligator sightings and the present day dinosaurs harassing neighbors. For instance, here was our latest alligator-related story:

Residents in a Palm Bay neighborhood are on high alert after a large alligator ate someone’s pet cat. Seventy-year-old Robert Geraci was browsing the Internet and sipping coffee Tuesday morning when he heard loud splashing in the canal behind his mobile home park. Geraci looked out and saw the cat in the gator’s mouth.

Bob Munch said it’s been hanging out in the canal, and just in the last week, has eaten the cat, along with a large crane.

“Oh God, I hope they get rid of it. If anything ever happened to my dog….” said Munch.

So here’s to NOT seeing many alligators. I enjoy letting the wild stay in the wild. But I did have to share this crazy photo of a croc snacking on a pig at Kennedy Space Center. YIKES!

Later, gator.