I’m a big fan of Photoshop. In fact, I bet I use it every other day, if not every day. It’s a program that allows you to clip, crop, edit, tweak, color, discolor, warp, bend, flip….any image. You name it, it’s nearly possible to do anything to an image to change it just how you want. And if you’ve stood in a checkout line at any grocery store and found yourself staring at the beautiful woman or handsome man on cover of the magazine that sits below the one featuring the pregnant man, and above the one that proclaims Bigfoot has (yet again!) been spotted, you may have found yourself jealous and annoyed. You’re ticked off because the cover gals and dudes are better looking than you. But their glowing beauty, like the pregnant man and Bigfoot, are grossly exaggerated. That should make you feel better, right?
Sure, some celebrities were ‘born with it’. That’s life. They’ll never do wrong or look bad in any light. But for the remaining 90% of celebs who will grace a cover in their careers, chances are, they got the Photoshop treatment a time or two.
What, don’t believe me? Well, special thanks to model Denise Alceda for explaining that yes, you’re not perfect, but that’s okay – because celebs aren’t either. Check out these real celebrities, looking really human before their digital brush treatment.
Photoshopped celebrity pictures: the females
Brittany Murphy. I wish my eye bags would disappear like that at 4:00am.
Penelope Cruz. Wonder what she’s pondering? Burgers or corn dogs for lunch. Mmmmm.
Kristen Stewart. Minimal edits. Congrats. Wait til you’re 30.
Rachel Weisz. I once saw an egret extend its neck like that.
Nicollette Sheridan. Again, the eye bags. #Jealous.
Naomi Watts. Defreckling. Damn sun.
Alicia Silverstone. Clueless? She saves on lipstick by only buying one shade. Why bother?
Photoshopped celebrity pictures: the magazine covers
Katy Perry. Insta-workout. Bam.
Faith Hill. Faith was just fine with the really fat, out of shape arm in the first pic. Sigh.
Nitro Magazine? Never heard of it. But the model is far too ugly to…wait, okay…perfect.
Photoshopped celebrity pictures: the dudes
Matthew Macfayden. This dude shines on while we all deal with that zit that feels like a tomato – and looks like one too.
Thom York. ‘Crookedly perfect’. New Radiohead album.
George Clooney. Don’t hide the gray, Cloons. Wasn’t Stacy Keibler hot and young enough?
Male model. This is actually me. Surprising, I know.
Photoshopped celebrity pictures: the models
Tyra Banks. Even she’s surprised at her beauty and cat eyes.
Bathing suit model. Whoever picked the outfit was fired. Wait, hire him back. We can tweak that.
Model closeup. That just changed everything. Bravo graphics department! Beers for everyone!
Well, there you have it. Just a sampling of some touch up work that goes on before you see your favorite celebs and models on the covers of your favorite magazines. Soon ugly people will be attractive and they’ll actually have to reverse the Photoshop process. Who knows. But this was a fun look at life and how no one is immune to aging. No matter your level of sleep deprivation, stress, booze, cigarettes, or anything else that causes you to prematurely age – rest assured there’s a filter for you in Photoshop. It will require a few more clicks, but you’re all set.
Now you just have to get famous. Keep us posted!
Man, I wish more teenage girls would see this article! Well done Josh!
Isn’t that the truth. Thanks, Dirk.
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